Graduating to adulthood in April 2011
Another wave of college graduations happened last weekend. I’m several months into my first “adult” job, and yet, I still feel like the 16 year old strangers often mistake me for.
In 2007 I couldn’t wait for my cap and gown, as high school graduation meant I was months closer to moving out, leaving behind a small town with small minds, and beginning an adventure for the rest of my life.
For the majority of college graduates who don’t have a job or their next step planned out after commencement, graduating can seem a bit terrifying. With finals and the real world looming after the ceremony I felt pretty anxious. I still am not sure what I’ll be when I’m a grown up (whenever that may be), but I realize that is okay – and you should too.
Here are some thoughts after reflecting on my graduation:
- Some of your peers will have jobs lined up months before graduation.That’s okay. Some find jobs months after graduation, and that’s fine too. You have the rest of your life to work. You’ll figure it out, and you don’t have to accept the first job that comes your way if it’s not a good fit.
- Keep friends who count.Rid yourself of fair weather friends who don’t encourage you or aren’t proud of your accomplishments. As tremendously boring as commencement can be, it marks a huge (and expensive) milestone in your life. Celebrate making it through 4 (5, or 6) years of higher ed. A friend graduated before me with my degree and told me I shouldn’t be surprised when I don’t find a job in my field. “There are no jobs. Go back to school.” Her attitude might have been contagious had I not realized that my perseverance and determination to pay my own rent outside of my parents’ basement were pretty fierce.
- You can take time off. The months leading up to graduation, I was really sweating it on the job hunt. I thought ‘If I stop now, I’ll miss an opportunity’. Perhaps, but constant job hunt mania will also make you miss your sanity. You’re done with undergrad. Take it in a bit, do nothingfor a day. Then get back at it.
- It’s okay to cry about what’s to come.The unknown is freaky. Grab a pint (of Ben&Jerry’s), dance in your underwear to oldies (it always works) and ugly cry those bad feelings away.
- End a mediocre relationship.To reiterate my previous point, get rid of people who don’t fulfill you. Is the relationship going anywhere? Evaluate your beliefs and personal goals with theirs. If you aren’t in a good relationship and it’s not going anywhere fast, reconsider it. This is a big time in your life and a lackluster or bad relationship should not hold you back. If they aren’t treating you well, send them curbside. There are plenty of other men who will.
- Love your family, and let them know you’re grateful. As much as I didn’t want to walk in graduation, I knew it was something very special for my parents and grandparents to see. Many kids don’t have the resources to a college education, and I’m thankful my family helped make mine possible. I’m not sure I formally thanked them as I should have, but my family afforded me one of the greatest privileges I could have.
- By all means, have an open house/graduation party. If high school kids can have parties where everyone overindulges in cake, hot dogs (my dream), and celebrates sitting through gym class and basic English then, damnit, you can too. Conquering all nighters, anatomy labs, and 25 page papers are all reason to celebrate.
